angelaodinsdotttir:

whoopsrobots:

foxpines:

whoopsrobots:

Does everybody else know that children’s song about eating bees  or was that exclusive to my area

wait that sounds familiar how does it go

(Gather children in a large circle)

 *with hands clasped*:

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’M

brINGING home a baby bumblebee

won’t my mama be so proud of me

I’M BRINGIN HOME A BABY BUMBLEBEE

OUCH! it stung me

*while smushing hands together*:

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’M

squishING up a baby bumblebee

wON’T my mama be so proud of me

I’M SQUISHING UP A BABY BUMBLEBEE

EW! it’s all over me

*with tongue out, pretending to lick hands*:

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’M

LICKing up a baby bumblebee

wON’T my mama be so proud of me

I’M LICKING UP A BABY BUMBLEBEE

GROSS! It’s inside me

OPTIONAL:

*Bent over and heaving*:

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’M

BARFING UP A BABY BUMBLEBEE

wON’T my mama be so proud of me

I’M PUKING UP A BABY BUMBLEBEE

YUCK! it’s all over me!

BONUS LINE:

(Taking it back to third)

*while smushing hands together*:

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’M

LICKing UP A BABY BUMBLEBEE

what in the hell why would your mother be proud of you for eating bees what the fuck is this?

(via more-silver-than-gold)

dietcrackcocaine:

me: where’s the toilet?

New Yorker: take a left up over at 6th and catch the bus between 12th and 32nd. there you’ll see a hotdog cart at the corner of 53rd…you gotta go on straight past to 47th. between 8th and 34th there’s a little place, ask for Mikey, tell him I sent you an he’ll let you in aight

me: thanks. I’ll just piss in the street

(via more-silver-than-gold)

languageoclock:

concept: me, speaking a foreign language, my pronunciation is perfect and my accent is indistinguishable from that of a native speaker. I am able to pepper my speech with slang and idioms and I can express subtle differences in meaning with ease. I have extensive knowledge of grammar and technical terms and produce well structured analyses of literature using correct writing conventions.

(via more-silver-than-gold)

floozys:

*sees the beautiful orange leaves*

*is stressed out because i’m not making the most of it, i don’t know what i’m supposed to do but they will be gone soon and i’m running out of time* 

(via blighted-warden)